12/26/2007 7:36:36 AM
from geek to bastard. Crying over old spilled milk - one story of my youth.
There was this girl, her name was Kim. She was tall and beautiful with long, light brown hair and these perfect, full lips. I was in my senior year of high school and while I had my share of girlfriends, none were ever in this league. I had decided that this was the year I was going to take my game to the next level. While more rugged looking than outright handsome, I did have some prestige as a jock and just by sheer personality I figured I was ready to overkick my coverage, so to speak.
It was particularly tormental that Kim had dated one of my best friends for several months and that's how I got to know her at all. They eventually broke up cause he is short and somewhat goofy and she eventually gravitated back into my vicinity because I had a car and knew everybody.
I found myself at a party after a dull night at a senior prom I had taken a charity date to. Charity because it was one of those situations where this beloved girl in the class didn't have a date and another friend of mine put me on the spot to take her (I wasn't a prom kind of guy normally). However this is all irrelevant, because she was the preacher's daughter and I had already dropped her at her house and headed to the prom party of my choosing where I knew Kim and Rachel (her beautiful friend who was also on my list of desire) would be hanging out looking for trouble.
I'll never forget this night. No, I was no prude but I was a bit sheepish. I find myself walking in the dark on a moonlit night with Kim, headed down a country road and exactly where I wanted to be at this juncture of my life. I was too calculating though. I got too greedy. I didn't know about the subtleties of love, about opportunities and windows that open and close at the whim of the female. I'll never forget our conversation, at least one part, when I said something kiddingly, flirty, to the effect of
"Nice night! If we weren't good friends we'd probably take advantage of this situation."
Despite my pretty formidable level of confidence, I was caught totally offguard when she said "We should"
It was here that I did probably the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life. I had this little voice in my geeky head saying she's yours, lay low. For some reason I still can't fully explain, I felt like if I did 'take advantage', it would just be 2 friends having a go, and I wanted what my friend once had, a.k.a. Kim in the middle of the frontseat of my car for every event, mine to keep. Yes, I was going to play it for a relationship, it couldn't fail. She likes me.
I replied to her echoing words with 3 words I never said again in my life when it came to a female "We can wait" She didn't pursue it further as she was basically going along with my program that night, whatever it was.
Now the pathetic end of the story. I thought I would be really cool (barf) and followed up my brilliant restraint on that night by writing her a poem, which I mailed to her about a week later. but on each subsequent encounter, she was deliberately different, just not interested, blammo. The geek had turned her off and Kim's window would be closed, forever.
I was a different guy in college. I was a bastard. The bastards get all the babes and I did. but there was one night I would never get back.